I vs. We

-

It's the I versus the We. Why should I let go of my life path to follow yours? It is scary to get out of my I-ness and join my life with yours. It is scary to set aside my independence and come to your home, your life, and be someone else there. Over here, I know who I am. I am woman, I am smart, I am me. Over there, who will I be? Girlfriend, caretaker, wife? While you go on being independent, will I be in chains? 

But I'm sure that's how you feel, too. Over there you are strong, you are free, you are accomplisher. You are man. Over here what will you be? Slave to emotions, curfew in place? Neither of us wants to move even though our hearts long to be joined. Neither of us wants to give up their old life and surrender to the joint one. But so, we remain separated.

We must- both of us- understand that we will remain two "I"s within the "we". I will not take from you, as you will not take from me. But neither of us can remain unchanged. It is a risk, a sacrifice. It is faith in the midst of the unknown, the uncharted map. Let's chart it together. Do you dare?

Slowly, we approach each other. When our eyes meet, we retreat. We have learned to hide in the face of Truth, of the spectacular Union. And yes, parts of us will have to be left behind. That's what we're scared to lose. I'm not afraid you will hurt me. I can handle it. I can handle anything. What I'm afraid to let go of is who I've known myself to be.

But my heart is beating in my chest, begging me to embrace this new beginning. Now that I've met you, there is no going back. My lips only want to be kissed by your lips. My body only wants to be touched by your body. But I will not rush you. I enjoy our slow rhythm. I enjoy watching the old parts of myself falling away, making way for new ones to bloom. And they are.

I see myself in new beauty. I love myself in new ways. I wake up and go to sleep with the energy of your love, of our love, our Divine Love. And how can I not believe? How can I not trust? It is so apparent in my every breath. And I love you despite of everything.

***

But this "everything came back to haunt us. This "everything" was powerful enough to tear us apart, and quite easily at that. It wasn't love that held us together, because love doesn't pass. Our (what a cliche) moment in the sun, passed and left behind it a broken feeling. Thankfully, life didn't give me many things to miss. I knew from early on that you weren't for me. My being told me, every time we talked. I just didn't want to listen. 

I have since began to listen. 

Σχόλια

Δημοσίευση σχολίου

Δημοφιλείς αναρτήσεις από αυτό το ιστολόγιο

The Second Awakening

-
 Shit's getting real.  Second awakening, second dark night . Things being taken left and right. I remain intact. If I don't listen, the third will be brutal. But so far, just my heart is suffering. All wounds coming to the surface. Needs, strong and wild, begging to be felt. The important ones: food, water. The amazing ones: love, connection, touch. The Mission : work and a place to live .  How do people live when they're following their hearts? How many people still will fall off, just to meet me again at a higher place? What is important? Animals, nature, one another. Those are the important things. Secondary comes health and then follow the rest. Will I feel fullfilled when I've followed the Calling ? Will I be alone? Will I meet people who are closer to my heart and build great relationships? Do I have to struggle? How much do I have to struggle? Will my needs be met? Yes. Yes, is the answer. On the first heartbeat.  The minute you rise, you decide to be True to ...
Διαβάστε περισσότερα

New Fronteers

-
 A blank page and a new chapter.  Can I tell you I feel hopeful? Parts of me do. Mostly I am still in my old pattern. It's like the new self has been planted and sprouted but there is no room for it to grow. The sunlight has not hit it yet, it seems like I'm not allowing it to exist. I can sense that it's healthy, but the environment it's growing in is not hospitable. It's dark and so full of things of the past. It's not a clean, open space that can help this wonderful plant of love flourish.  This is not to complain. This is to figure out a game plan. How can I detach from who I used to be and deal with my old habits one by one? How can I be okay with my self, and unlearn all that I've been told? It seems like life is throwing me in the same situations over and over again and I don't seem to be learning. I'm just growing. And don't get me wrong, it's great, but... When does the happiness kick in? I went to the doctor the other day, to check ...
Διαβάστε περισσότερα