Mia's Lens

It's the I versus the We. Why should I let go of my life path to follow yours? It is scary to get out of my I- ness and join my life with yours. It is scary to set aside my independence and come to your home, your life, and be someone else there. Over here, I know who I am. I am woman, I am smart, I am me. Over there, who will I be? Girlfriend, caretaker, wife? While you go on being independent, will I be in chains?  But I'm sure that's how you feel, too. Over there you are strong, you are free, you are accomplisher. You are man. Over here what will you be? Slave to emotions, curfew in place? Neither of us wants to move even though our hearts long to be joined. Neither of us wants to give up their old life and surrender to the joint one. But so, we remain separated. We must- both of us- understand that we will remain two "I " s within the "we". I will not take from you, as you will not take from me. But neither of us can remain unchanged. It is a risk, ...

 A blank page and a new chapter.  Can I tell you I feel hopeful? Parts of me do. Mostly I am still in my old pattern. It's like the new self has been planted and sprouted but there is no room for it to grow. The sunlight has not hit it yet, it seems like I'm not allowing it to exist. I can sense that it's healthy, but the environment it's growing in is not hospitable. It's dark and so full of things of the past. It's not a clean, open space that can help this wonderful plant of love flourish.  This is not to complain. This is to figure out a game plan. How can I detach from who I used to be and deal with my old habits one by one? How can I be okay with my self, and unlearn all that I've been told? It seems like life is throwing me in the same situations over and over again and I don't seem to be learning. I'm just growing. And don't get me wrong, it's great, but... When does the happiness kick in? I went to the doctor the other day, to check ...