Awakening

  It breaks you up. It breaks you open so you can heal, so you can see the truth about yourself. I doesn’t ask if you are ready- you never choose it. An awakening happens when it is time for you to start remembering who you are and what your purpose is.

 For me, it happened with heartache. I suppose it pierces you where you are most vulnerable. For me, it was love. When I had two people leave my life because we were no longer compatible. And the pain was unbelievable. But so was the Rise. The awakening. The release. The freedom. At first it felt like I would disappear from the world. It felt like there was nothing on earth that would hold me. Alone, unloved, unhappy. When you lose all of what you thought was real, the people upon whom you could count, the loves of your life- friend, partner- it is easy to lose all sense of purpose and direction.

  But then I had a dream. Years into my darkest darks I had a dream of a blue stone with gold flakes. A dream that plunged me into research, interest, awakening. And ever since, my life has gotten better and better. I no longer feel alone, I no longer feel pain. The mind is slow to heal- it still goes back to those times, still asks for those who have gone. But the heart is eager. Eager to heal, to explore, to communicate, to learn new things and meet new people. The heart is content with what we have, today, and asks only that we experience life. 

  I say "the heart" but I mean "the soul". It's funny how we have such limited words to talk of such expansive things. Things like gratitude, hope, laughter, friendship, direction, serendipity, communication, awe...

  That is the journey I wish to share with you. Not from a place of authority but of Truth. Not to preach but to inspire. For I have found that my art is in my words and life has brought me to this, finally. The point of opening up and sharing, with whomever stumbles upon this, my Story. To be the lighthouse.